We are improvisers. Bleeding creativity for your amusement. Attempting to harness the untameable.  We are side by side in a sea of possibility, standing on a surfboard of spontaneity, catching waves of inspiration towards the beach of artistic satisfaction. But look out for the sandbar of confusing analogies. Hit one of those and you will lose your surfboard. Limited edition surfboards like that are hard to find. It was made of Spontaneity for goodness sake. That stuff is hard to refine into suitably buoyant materials that are required for the manufacture and sale of surfboards. And now you're stranded on a sandbar, surrounded by Sharks of Insecurity! 

Which sounds bad because Sharks! But Sharks of Insecurity are actually a confusingly named type of porpoise. And as we know, porpoises are just a type of dolphin. And, little known fact, dolphins are just a type of tuna. And tuna is delicious. As are tacos. And Bunnings sausages. But the only way to defeat the "Sharks" is to use the Flying Spin Kick of Teamwork. Followed by the One-Two Punch of Bold Character Choices. But sometimes just before you punch a shark you look into its eyes and see a glimmer of intelligence there. A hint of emotion. A shred of empathy. And the two of you end up chatting for hours about Jungian theory and about a possible second season of Jessica Jones and whether or not you should send a joint email letting Lin-Manuel Miranda know how impressed you are with his mad skills.
He probably has heaps of surfboards.

Made out of all sorts of stuff. Like disappointment. And you're like, why do you have a surfboard of disappointment and he just points to a cross-stitch above his dartboard which says "There are no small surfboards, only small actors". And even though you don't get it you smile and say "Good one Lin-Manuel. Good one" . Then you close your eyes and throw your third dart. You NAIL it and Lin-Manuel Miranda makes up a quick rap where he rhymes "One Hundred and EIGHTY" with " Secretary of STATE-Y"
Its a pretty great night and you can barely remember how it all started.....then you blink and wake up. You're still on the sandbar....you're dehydrated....close to death.
IF YOU TRY TO RIDE A SHARK TO SAFETY - TURN TO PAGE 39
IF YOU TRY TO FASHION A SURFBOARD OUT OF FLOTSAM - TURN TO PAGE 122
IF YOU TRY TO FASHION A SURFBOARD OUT OF JETSAM - TURN TO PAGE 14
IF YOU LIKE BARN DANCING - BOW TO YOUR PARTNER
IF YOU LIKE COMEDY - COME TO OUR SHOW !

Grand Theft Impro @ Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Friday and Saturday nights to April 22nd.